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Example 2

Details in the following transcript have been changed to anonymise it. Comments from James.


TRANSCRIPT
COMMENT
F1 And what would you like to have happen?

C1
I find it amazingly hard to make a statement about what I would like. The minute I start talking about my relationship with my parents .… It’s like a swing. On one side there’s myself on the other my parents.  So the only way I can formulate an objective at this precise moment in time is to say, I’d like to know more about the my parents, myself and the swing.  Sorry I can’t do anything other than that right now.
I start out taking clients literally. The client stated that they found it extremely hard to make a statement of her objective. That puts me into a tricky and very interesting situation because I can’t use the usual PRO approach, since that would put the client into an “amazingly hard” problem.
3
And is there anything else?

C2
On this subject it’s extremely hard to make an objective without my mismatching it and changing it. It feels like a major... If I could have an objective I would almost feel as though I wouldn’t have an issue. Because half of it depends – it’s a relationship – so half of it depends on me and half depends on them. So the swing was a kind of satisfying place to start exploring – again and again – this relationship.
“If I could have an objective I would almost feel as though I wouldn’t have an issue". In other words, the inability to make an outcome statement is itself problematic, and that (conveniently?) may be preventing her finding a resolution.
F3
So the swing was a way of exploring the relationship, and it’s extremely hard to get a statement of what you would like to have happen, and if you had an objective you feel you wouldn’t have an issue. So when it is extremely hard and amazingly hard, is there anything else about that hard to make a statement of an objective?
The client in effect gives me permission to work with this problem (because she can’t state a desired outcome) and that’s why I pursued “hard to make a statement” rather than “parents, myself and the swing”
C3
Yes, hard because I say one thing and it doesn’t feel authentic. It doesn’t ring true to me.  And so I change it and I can’t find the words that resonate and ring true for me. I want them to be something, I want them to be something else, like there’s a void between what I want and what resonates as being truly true for me. That’s hard.
This suggest the two relationship metaphors are structurally similar: (i) “swing” with two “sides”; and (ii) “a void between what I want and what resonates”.
F4
That’s hard, that void between what you want and what resonates … [Yes]. And you can’t find the words that ring true … [No]. They don’t feel authentic … [No]. And so you change them … [Yeah].  And when there’s a void between what you want and what resonates, is there anything else about that void?
By recapping slowly I am keeping attention on a potential bind. By inviting the client to attend to and stay with their current relationship with their objective, I simultaneously:
 • acknowledge the newly appeared metaphor “void”,
 • and attend to the two sides of the void (by adjacency).
 • and I ‘a-void’ exploring the self-parents relationship which has previously been explored “again and again” resulting in a unproductive state: “the minute I start talking about my parents …”

C4
Sometimes it feels big. Sometimes it’s hopelessly imbalanced – if you can have a void that’s imbalanced. [Laughs] … I suppose I could say this. My parents will not be on this earth forever, I guess I want a relationship before they die, that will somehow satisfy me.  Maybe that’s a true statement.
The beginnings of a desired outcome and “maybe” a knowing what is “a true statement”.

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